Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Burgers, Balloons and Oscars!

Friday was a pretty excellent day. It turned out the Americans were actually staying with us so I watched Jeremy Kyle (most disgusting show ever) with them for a bit and had meatball scrambled eggs that Hannah made. My scrambled egg standards are preeetty high but I still enjoyed them!

They went off sightseeing in the afternoon and Georgia arrived a short while later, after failing to open our gate, with house warming gifts of toilet paper and home-made peanut butter, as well as a cylinder of helium and some balloons. We spent an enjoyable hour or so eating peanut butter sandwiches, blowing up balloons and talking about the phenomenon of trending and the internet, after which we made our way to Covent Garden (with our balloons!) to meet some friends for a Byron Burger date. I have never been to Byron Burger before and I will say now that I think I was missing out. I had medium to well done blue cheese burger with avocado and it was SO good! And the onion rings were amazing as well!

Unfortunately my Byron Burger experience was cut a little short because my friend, Abi (who I met at the Edinburgh Fringe festival and bonded with over a mutual infatuation with an American comedian) had got free tickets to a that evening's show at the Comedy Store. I was initially excited about this but as soon as I got there, and was told I had to leave my balloons in the cloakroom, I remembered how much I dislike it there. It just feels so unfriendly and the comedy's normally all about gender stereotypes and casual racism, which can be OK, but I always feel as though the audience isn't laughing at it ironically and it just doesn't feel very progressive. Maybe I'm just a bit of a snob and don't like anything that isn't a bit 'edgy' or 'alternative' (like a hipster of the comedy world) but I barely laughed throughout the whole night and resorted to staring into the glass of a picture frame plaiting my fringe to alleviate my boredom. Abi liked it though and it was also very nice to see her, so that's good.

On the way back to my house from the tube station a group of boys accosted me to ask if they could have some balloons which made me so happy! Any residual bitterness about my non-enjoyment of the show vanished in that moment.

Back at home I practiced my stand-up set for the first time in months and then put on my housework playlist on Spotify and sang and danced wildly amongst the remaining balloons. Eventually I fell asleep, woke up on the return of Lucy and the Americans, said hello to them and went back to sleep. Oh and I also did all my washing! Clothes and bedding!

The next day Hannah made sausage gravy for breakfast (very American apparently), which was delicious! I actually had two helpings... I then went to the Natural History Museum with them but had to leave after the pretend earthquake to go to Marie's for a pancake party. I definitely didn't wear enough clothes on the way there so I had to sit on a sofa for half an hour with a cup of Earl Grey tea before I could even attempt to be sociable. I did improve though and from then on the evening was lovely! Even being attacked by her GIANT cat was more exciting than anything. I managed to catch literally the last tube home and then played Hearts with the Americans before going to bed. The one sad thing was that I had to miss Josh's birthday party, which I felt terrible about!

Sunday was Oscar day and (after after the departure of our American friends, leaving Lucy, Olive and myself rather lonely and depressed) Lucy and I set to planning an Oscar party with Oscar nominated film themed food. Here is a list of what we had and what film it related to:

  • Cornbread - The Help (Southern American)
  • Hotdogs - Moneyball and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (New York)
  • Pain au Chocolat and baguette- Midnight in Paris and The Artist (French)
  • Pineapple - The Descendents (Hawaiian) 
  • Bread and wine - Tree of Life (religious)
  • Lychees - We Need to Talk About Kevin (I haven't seen it but they are apparently very relevant)
  • Sweets - Hugo (Children like sweets...)
  • Jam doughnuts - War Horse (they ate a lot of jam during the First World War...)
OK, so the last two are a bit shaky but I think we did pretty well! And it was a lovely night. Lucy, Sofi (back from her boyfriend's), Georgia, Lucy's friend, Louise, Lucy's boyfriend, Anil and I were all there and three of us (me, Lucy, Anil) managed to watch all the way to the end without falling asleep! We were all very happy about The Artist winning Best Picture and Lucy and I are having an ongoing argument about which of us is more deserving of Jean Dujardin. Even although he does apparently already have a girlfriend...

Yesterday (nearly caught up!) I met Kylie and Josh and my friend, Canavan in the Court on Tottenham Court Road and played a game and a half of Catan. I am currently Lord... This makes me extremely happy.  I also consumed a lot of beer and drunkenly called a drunken Mab and Tom to talk to them about how great they are.

Today I am relaxing in the back garden (well, outside space...) with Olive, who is having a nice time sniffing everywhere. And then I'm pub quizzing later this evening with Kylie, Georgia and other Esprit friends Andrea and Chris. I'm very excited because I really, really love quizzes!


Thursday, 23 February 2012

Shifts, TV and Americans! And a Sore Tummy... :-(

So, I haven't updated in the last couple of days because I haven't been doing very much... There was work on Tuesday, lots of TV catch-up yesterday and then more work and 'chillin' with Americans today.

My Tuesday shift was very good fun because it was for one of the Brit Awards after parties and I was on cloakroom, so got to chat to all the the amusing drunk people and even got £4.50 in tips! I also got on really well with the girl, Ana,who was on cloakroom with me. We have planned to go to some comedy and dancing together.

Yesterday, I woke up extremely late, caught up on Upstairs, Downstairs (very good) and Call the Midwife (beautiful) and managed to completely ignore about ten minutes of violent banging going on downstairs. About two hours later I heard Lucy's grandma's voice in the kitchen and put some clothes on before going downstairs so she wouldn't think less of me. I had a nice chat with her and discovered that she had been banging because the doorbell wasn't working. So I told her I hadn't heard a thing because I'd been asleep, feeling inwardly very guilty... After she'd gone I put my pyjamas back on and spent the rest of the day finishing Sorority Girls (actually quite disturbing) and starting New Girl (AMAZING).

Today, did a lunch shift near Edgeware Road (and was relieved to see that a chef I once went on an embarrassing date with wasn't there). I finished Dead Famous on the way home and was relieved that (unusually for Ben Elton) it ended fairly happily and satisfactorily. Back at the house, Lucy introduced me to her American friend, Hannah, who said she was going to the pub to meet a group of other American friends (all men, most of them with beards, three of them just back from serving in Afghanistan) while Lucy was at work and that I was welcome to join them. So, after showering and changing into something more summery (it was SO warm today!) I sauntered along to the Falcon, espied them all easily, as they were the only people there, and let Hannah introduce me to them all. They all seemed quite lovely and one of them even kissed my hand, which was nice! They all talked in some kind of generic Scandinavian accent for most of the time so that people wouldn't think they were 'asshole Americans'.

After a while we all went back to the house and Hannah made amazing cheesy rice and I tried (and failed) to learn a New York accent, and then Lucy came home and made equally amazing pasta and meat balls and then I started to feel really ill (and just for the record, I had been feeling a bit ill since the night before. I wasn't suffering from trying to keep up with the American's drinking, as they suggested. I mean come on, I'm British, I know how to drink!) so I went to bed and didn't say bye to anyone. I feel a bit guilty about that now so I hope I see them again!

After lying in bed groaning and trying to go to sleep for a bit, I started complaining to Josh and Damien on Skype and Facebook respectively. They were both very sympathetic and indulged me in my love of Facebook chat emoticons/were equally as excited about them as I was! Eventually we all had a Skype conference call and watched the first episode of Bucky O'Hare. It ended on a massive cliffhanger and we were going to watch the next episode but a) I was tired and b) Lucy came in and told me to be quiet because Sofi was sleeping (I'd had headphones in and had forgotten my voice still made a noise) so, much to Josh's disappointment, I left the conversation, which I felt quite guilty about. Seriously, so much guilt over the past few days! I really would make quite a good Catholic...

Anyway, I still feel ill and it's very late so sleep time. I really hope I feel better by tomorrow because my friend, Georgia's coming round and I need to tidy my room!

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

A relaxing evening, and fun as a gorilla!

It's not after breakfast because I woke up late and now Goscha, the cleaner, is here, but never mind. I'll just wait until she's gone and then think about making pancakes (because it is Pancake Day today!!) but end up having pasta, or a fried egg sandwich. Both of which are lovely, so I'm not complaining! I shall then shower and dress and head to Wapping pier to do my second waitressing shift since returning to London. Maybe there'll be pancakes there...

So that's today so far, now back to yesterday! Lucy's friend, Louise, sent out a Facebook plea asking for extras for a Sport Relief video on Monday 23rd February and I said I'd do it. A couple of days before I got a text telling me the location and to be there at 10.30am. So, at 10 o'clock yesterday morning, I duly set off to the address they had sent me. It was on the most residential street I've ever seen and I got a bit worried I was in the wrong place. But then I noticed a van full of equipment in the driveway and the front door was open a jar and I could just make out two pantomime horses dancing in the reception room. I knocked gingerly, was greeted by a nice man called Nick and was led through to the living room where there were already a few other people and which was strewn with party costumes. Having introduced myself to the other extras (who were all third year musical theatre students), the wardrobe lady started sorting out what we were going to wear and, after lamenting the lack of feminine costumes, apologetically handed me a gorilla suit, which turned out to be surprisingly comfortable! As well as me and the horses, there was also a pink lady, a skeleton, Captain America, Elvis, a bumble bee and a banana. The gist of the sketch is that a group of young people are at a costume party and the pantomime horses start dancing and then start 'shagging' and the male horses head falls off to reveal the pink lady's dad underneath and everyone leaves in disgust. As a sort of subplot I had to chase the banana around as well. My face was sweating so much by the end! Being in a gorilla mask is a tricky business. Fortunately, we got a substantial lunch break where we all taken to an Italian restaurant!

Once all the filming had come to an end I set off home on my own. At the traffic lights, four of the musical theatre students caught up with me and all hugged me goodbye and took my name to add me on Facebook, which made me so happy!

At home, I made tofu stir-fry; had a Skype chat with Josh about how bad all pornography is (in that it features a complete lack of foreplay and is therefore not very erotic, which kind of defeats the point) and came to the conclusion that I should start making it; laughed at Mrs Cochrane(my German teacher at school)'s Facebook status: This Panorama programme about alcohol which I am currently watching is very sobering! and then had a comment conversation about how giving up alcohol would be nice but sometimes only wine will do; read an hilarious script for a Youtube show that Mab and Tom had written; watched My Online Stalker with Lucy and Sofi, which was scary because her boyfriend was completely crazy and only got two months in prison; had a Skype conversation with my friend, Katy, in Australia who I haven't seen since October and watched the fourth episode of Sorority Girls.

So, over all, a very nice day.


Monday, 20 February 2012

Lord of the Rings and Pizza Love!

So I wrote nothing yesterday, not because my day was devoid of interest (come on, my days are always interesting), but because a) it was Sunday and I decided to avoid anything that remotely seemed like any kind of work and b) I had a lot of TV to catch up on! Only a small proportion of which I managed to watch in the end, having been distracted by an invitation to watch Lord of the Rings in West Finchley.
The reason for this invitation has a bit of a back story which I shall proceed to relate (in bullet points):


  • I have a friend called Mab who lived next door me for 8 years of my childhood, until I was 10, when she moved to Toronto, Canada.
  • Over the years, as is wont to happen, we communicated less and less.
  • After finishing school, Mab went travelling around Europe and, in December, went to stay with an old school friend, Tom, and his family, where she's been ever since.
  • The three of us (and another friend, Jack) all found that we got on extremely well and decided to call ourselves Team Secret Society of Us (this isn't actually relevant to this story but I'm sure it will be in the future so thought I'd throw it in).
  • Mab re-introduced me to Settlers of Catan, first introduced to me by a couple of Australian friends (and I am just going to name drop and say that it's the boys from the band, The Axis of Awesome that I'm referring to here. If you don't know what I'm talking about you should Youtube them because they're really great).
  • I was with Mab for her birthday so we decided that she should come to London and stay with me for mine. So, on the Thursday before I turned 20, I picked up Mab from Victoria coach station (an hour late, but lets not dwell on that...) 
  • On Friday, we went to the Tate Modern (with Settlers of Catan), where we met my friend, Josh (who I know through my waiting agency). We immediately sat down in the cafe, ordered two bottles of wine and played Catan for four hours.
  • Josh eventually said he had to go meet his friends at a Bavarian drinking tavern in Old Street and, in our hazy, wine-fuelled states, Mab and I decided to go too.
  • Once there we had meatball and Bratwurst and beer and then Josh's friends (Damian, Henry and Jay) arrived and we had more beer and then we had more beer and then we had vodka shots with sherbet and then Mab and I drunkenly discussed the fact that we didn't think we could pay for any of this. So, after my card got declined four times, the boys (but particularly Damian) paid for everything and we felt so bad! I felt so bad that I told Damian to write his bank details in my diary, but he wrote down his mobile number instead.
Lots of other stuff happened that weekend but that's all the relevant stuff. The Lord of the Rings invite was from Damian, and Henry, Jay and Josh were also there and it was so much fun! I arrived late so only saw the second half of Fellowship and then only the first half of Two Towers but it didn't matter. We ate popcorn and drank cordial and made inappropriate jokes all the way through. We managed to cover homosexuality, patriarchy, necrophilia and paedophilia, but we're saving incest 'til next time... 

My next stop was a new material night at the Hen and Chickens in Islington, which I took a ridiculously circular route to, and on the tube I saw two people eating a pizza and began to have major cravings! These cravings lasted throughout the show and were only satisfied when Lucy (who was also there) dropped me off at a pizza takeaway an hour later. I can honestly say that was one of the best pizzas I've ever had in my life. But I'm getting ahead of myself... before that there was the comedy show, which was hilarious! Naz Osmanoglu was compering and Nish Kumar, Allnutt and Simpson and Wittank (Naz's sketch group) were the acts. Apparently Mark from Wittank did Naz's set at the beginning and it was really funny but, due to my unintentional detour, I missed it, which was a little disappointing, but everything else was so good that I didn't mind too much. Nish's set was beautifully told and perfectly well timed; Allnutt and Simpson's sketches were wonderful (particularly one about being big headed) and Wittank were full of energy and sparkle as usual. 

So, back to the pizza! I ate it on the Hammersmith and City Line train and threw the empty box away at Baker Street. As I walked onto the northbound Bakerloo line platform I saw (and heard) three young people sitting on a bench singing Three Little Birds (Don't Worry About a Thing) a capella. It was so beautiful, and quite emotional. And then a random man sat next to me and asked if I'd enjoyed my pizza. Terror flickered across my face for a moment before I realised he must have been on the same train as me earlier and I politely told him that it had been delicious and then stared stonily ahead of me until the train arrived.

Back at home I had a Skype conversation with my friend, Lucy W (not housemate Lucy), watched Take Me Out, Take Me Out: The Gossip and the third episode of Sorority Girls. They were all excellent and I would have watched way more had I not been very tired and painfully aware that I needed to be up before 9.30am the next day. The next day in question (which is of course today) actually turned out to be rather fun, and a little bit surreal, but I shall talk about that tomorrow, after breakfast...

Saturday, 18 February 2012

A Nice Reunion, and Life without Google Chrome...

Having had a rather perturbed night, which I blame on falling asleep face down on my bed with all my clothes on, I awoke properly at midday and immediately reached for my laptop, only to discover that Google Chrome still wasn't working. I was annoyed, but well rested, so I calmly set about fixing the problem. I turned my computer off and on again (in true IT Crowd fashion) and tried uninstalling and re-installing the browser. But to no avail. I eventually admitted temporary defeat, Skyped my mum and then went to Piccadilly Circus to meet an old housemate of mine, Chrissie. The house in question was one in Plaistow where I lived for a month and a half, after I got back from Adelaide, and Chrissie lived there with her boyfriend, Rob. The landlord wasn't the nicest guy ever and a slightly bad tempered girl who refused to let anyone answer the door in case it was bailiffs had the room next to me, but I did do my first stand up comedy slots, attend a regular pub quiz and read a lot of (I would say worthy) books while I was there, and Rob and Chrissie did teach me how to play poker (as well as introducing me to Mortal Kombat), so I have fond memories.

After a lovely reunion lunch, which we had in The Coffee Bar (seriously the best place ever!) I returned home and set to the task of fixing Google Chrome with a vengeance, because the online world is just not as nice when viewed through Internet Explorer. After every other option had been exhausted, I finally admitted that I was going to have pay £28 for some instant message tech support. Google Chrome really is that important to me. The whole experience was quite exciting actually. The tech support guy had to take control of my computer so I ended up just staring at this mouse magically sorting everything out for me and then click on a word document and then letters appear explaining what was wrong. While all this was going on, Lucy was making a compilation video of last night's acts so bits of their songs kept drifting through to me. A recurring line was: 'I sit at my computer and I fart my brains out', which helped to make the whole experience even more surreal than it already was. Google Chrome did get fixed though so, at the end of the day, it was all fine.

Then I tidied and swept my room (I know, wow...), watched an episode of Sorority Girls, which does just keep getting better and better, and chatted to my dad and step mum on the phone, giving them an abridged version of the breaking down of gender stereotypes conversation. I've come to the conclusion that we are living in an incredible time right now as regards that kind of thing. I mean, we must be one of the only societies in the world ever (or in living memories anyway) where women can gain their own financial security through having a career as opposed to getting married. For the first time in years, women don't have to get married and men don't have to be the only ones bread winning. I think Britain (and probably most of the Western world) is going through a huge cultural change and it's very exciting. Although no wonder sex and relationships have become such a minefield! When there's no necessity anymore, there's a lot more room for feelings and heartbreak and embarrassment.

Anyway, on that note, bed time pour moi. I plan to fall asleep under the covers, with sparklingly clean teeth, and in my pyjamas!

Friday, 17 February 2012

Quite a lot of Coffee and some Musical Comedy Fun!

I had both in the end, pasta and a bagel. I was getting really stressed because I couldn't figure out which one I wanted more, so in the end I thought: 'Hell Jacinta, just have both! It was your birthday 5 days ago...' And I thoroughly enjoyed all of it! I even had an apple for dessert.

So on to today (or rather, yesterday): I awoke at a decent hour (10am) this morning, and spent a leisurely few hours addressing my thank you cards (writing, addressing and sending cards are three completely different matters entirely!), admonishing Olive for ripping up some loo roll as well as biting my finger and watching a TV show called Sorority Girls on 4od. I overcame my shame of enjoying programmes of this sort about a month ago (when I watched a full episode of Take Me Out and realised I was completely hooked) and will happily say that it was AMAZING. I recommend. But only if you like that sort of thing. If American sororities and amusing British girls hold no interest for you, then probably don't watch it...

Awhile later, I met my brother's girlfriend, Marie, at Queen's Park station for coffee and a book/phone exchange. She was looking extremely beautiful with red lipstick and a purple coat and purple dress; she even had a purple notebook which I thought was pretty impressive, even though she did insist that that was accidental. I was pretty colour coded too as it turns out, with a lot of yellows and greens going on; even green nail varnish. This is the first time I've felt the urge to wear nail varnish in months, and I think it's a sign that Spring has definitely arrived! I hope...

Anyway, we went to Gail's for coffee. Anyone who has not experienced the delights of Gail's coffees and pastries needs to do so pronto. It's expensive, but lovely! Once seated, and sipping our latte and breakfast tea, I gave Marie back her Moomin Troll book that she leant me in December (the Moomins are so great, aren't they?) and she gave me her old phone, which is a touch screen Nokia that gets email and Facebook and has a camera. A huge upgrade on my current £10 Samsung! I used to have a £15 Samsung with a sticker of an eye on it (literally an eye phone... I know, pretty funny...) but alas, it got lost while I was at a silent opera of a modernised La Boheme underneath Waterloo Station last week.

Having bid goodbye to Marie at the station, I arrived home and immediately received a text from Lucy saying she was in Gail's. So I returned to said coffee shop, picked up another latte and the two of us walked home again. Waiting meekly outside the door was Lucy's awesome (for want of a better word) grandma, Joyce. She had come round because the three of us were about to set off to Canterbury for: Chatback Comedy's Homage to Musical Comedy. Chatback Comedy is a business that Lucy and her University friend, Sam, set up a couple of years ago and which is now really successful! I've been to at least half of the nights they've organised since September 2011 and they're consistently of a very high standard.

I was extremely excited for this month's show, being a great lover of most musical comedy, and I was not disappointed. Jay Foreman was compering and every single one of his songs I love. He has an absolutely brilliant one called Stealing Food which, if you've ever sneakily had some of your flatmates' cereal or maybe an egg or two, you should be able to appreciate. The lineup itself was Rob Carter, Carys Nia Williams, Anthony Dewson and Kev Orkian. Rob Carter and Anthony Dewson (the two I hadn't previously seen or heard of) stood out particularly for me. I shan't even attempt to explain their sets because I won't do justice to them, but they were very good!

Having had some nice chats with all of our excellent Canterbury friends (including a particularly good one about the importance of pens and notebooks with Dan, who is a very talented artist), Lucy, Joyce and I all returned to the car with the addition of Rob and his guitar. I thoroughly enjoyed our drive home, but then I always enjoy car journeys, particularly if the company's good and I'm not the one driving! I seem to remember we sang Stealing Food quite a bit. And talked about Maths... And Rob said he'd like to play Settlers of Catan, so that's good!

After dropping off Joyce at her house (and Rob at a place where we hoped he could find a bus), Lucy and I arrived back at Queen's Park to be greeted by a kitchen filled with bags of American sweets, thanks to Sofi who had just got back from California a few hours earlier. Sadly we couldn't talk to her immediately as she was already asleep. Once the initial excitement of looking at American goodies had died down sufficiently, Lucy counted out the Chatback money and then came into my room with a bottle of Becks and we somehow ended up discussing sex, relationships and how the breaking down of gender stereotypes was making them a lot more confusing than they used to be. While all this was going on, Olive decided to settle under my bed and I think she might still be there. I do feel very honoured that she should choose to spend the night my room.

Becks drunk and sex and relationships talk temporarily exhausted, we decided it was about time to go to sleep. I turned to my computer and realised that it had sneakily restarted and that Google Chrome had decided not to work anymore; so I had to write all of this in Internet Explorer, which has made me extremely upset! First world problems, eh?...

Thursday, 16 February 2012

An Unexpected Outing, Some Thoughts and Thank You Cards!

Having decided last night that today was going to be a relaxing day of correspondence, writing thank you cards and washing the dishes in my pyjamas, I set no alarm and was rudely awoken at 11.30am by something painfully heavy landing on my chest. I half opened my eyes and was surprised to see a furry ginger nose less than an inch from my face. 'Oh, hello Olive...' I mumbled after the initial shock and vague terror had worn off. Olive is our resident cat. She is bad tempered and haughty and only expresses any affection towards you when she wants something, but I am completely in love with her and feel quite emotional with happiness whenever she gives me any attention. It's rather like an unhealthy love affair, but I guess that's cats for you!

Having sniffed my face for a bit, and appearing satisfied, she settled herself down on my stomach. Slowly, I reached out for my Ben Elton book (Dead Famous) and we both lay there companionably for about ten minutes. Next, moving as little as possible, I felt around for my laptop (for my just woken up, pre shower Facebook check) and was happy to see I had one message. I clicked on it, feeling the customary excitement the little red square and white '1' always gives me, and then sat up with a start. It was from an old school friend, Tomas, giving me his number and saying he'd see me later. Scrawling frantically to earlier messages I remembered that we were meant to be meeting in Covent Garden at 12pm that day. I leapt from the bed, yelling my apologies down the hall way to the fast retreating (and rather angry) Olive, threw on some clothes and dashed from the house.

Half an hour later we met at Piccadilly Circus and he told me he hadn't minded my being late at all as he had got to explore Soho and been approached by a lady in a long tweed coat asking if he was looking for any sex. I found the story quite amusing but it also occurred to me that, being female, this was a side to Soho (and Red Light districts generally) that I had never, and probably would never, experience. I'm sure there's some sort of discussion there... Like, is it bad that just men are being offered paid sex or is it bad that women are offering paid sex? Should men and women both offer it, or should no-one offer it?...

Anyway, after lunching in The Coffee Bar next to Leicester Square Station (probably my favourite place in the whole world), we spent an enjoyable afternoon exploring Soho, Westminster, Green Park (I'm ashamed to admit that, until we checked the map, we weren't entirely sure if the massive building with loads of people around it was Buckingham Palace or not), Regent Street and Trafalgar Square. Tomas even managed to climb (with more difficulty than he expected) onto one of the lions at the corners of Nelson's Column plinth: something I intend to do at some point in my life, but decided against today! After glancing in the Apple Store and giving up on Hamleys due to the sheer amount of people, he commented that the High Street certainly didn't seem to be dead and we parted ways at Oxford Circus.

Once back at home, I was greeted by a package with S.W.A.L.K. written on the back and an adorable pink flannel with hearts on it inside. Who it was from I have no idea... (by which I mean I think it was from my mum, but shh...) I then, after noticing with relief, and a slight twinge of guilt, that Lucy had done the washing up, paid my first two weeks rent and sat down to write my thank you cards (it was my 20th birthday last weekend and I got some lovely cards and very good presents).

While I was doing this, I got a call from my dad. After chatting pleasantly for awhile, he told me that our cousin (well, his cousin, my first cousin once removed) had been diagnosed with cancer and the first lot of treatment hadn't worked. He seemed to be quite affected by it, obviously because his cousin could potentially be dying, but also because he's roughly the same age as her. He said: 'It reminds you that we're all hanging on by a thread.' It was a very sobering thought and we both determined to make the most of life while we had it. And I hope that Teresa (the cousin) does get better and is able to enjoy more of her life as well.

Anyhow, cards completed (two simple words, but it took effort! I wrote little life updates in each one as well as descriptions of what I specifically liked about their card), I had a deliciously hot bath (with my new flannel), got into my pyjamas and am now considering making a halloumi and sundried tomato pesto bagel. Or maybe pasta... Either way, what a productive day!

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

So why London, Jacinta? And why no Uni?!

For most of my school life I was quite sure that, grades allowing, I would read History at Cambridge. I would spend hours of study time poring over the college prospectus whilst my friend did the same for Oxford. I was not particularly passionate about History and did not enjoy the lessons as much as, say, Drama or RE, but I remained unfailingly optimistic that I would get to University and discover a great love for the subject and for academia in general.

It wasn't until the Christmas term of my final year that this unshaken conviction quite suddenly deserted me. I was sitting in the common room at seven in the morning, frantically writing a History essay due in for two days earlier, when a liberating thought occurred to me: 'I don't enjoy this!' Never had my feelings about the essay writing involved in academic study presented themselves with such clarity and the relief was immense. I spent the next few weeks joyfully explaining to everyone that I was not going to apply to any University and nodding sympathetically when my peers complained about how difficult personal statements were. With no application, acceptance and/or rejection stress, this seemed like the best decision I'd ever made.

Having finished school I did some flyering work at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival; I went to London for four months and got work with a waiting agency; I flyered at the Adelaide Fringe Festival in Australia and I did some stand-up comedy spots in London and LA. I was having a wonderful (and productive) time and I never viewed this time as a 'gap year'. But apparently other people did.

As the following academic year approached, I began to notice a marked change in attitude amongst, most particularly, my family and, most worryingly, myself. As long as it was less than a year since I finished school, whatever I did, impressive or not, didn't much matter. It was my year to experience life and I was being indulged. Now that it was over I seemed to be expected to get a degree and start focusing on getting a 'proper job'. And all this despite the fact I'd been telling everyone, for just under two years, that I wasn't going to do any of that. I was shocked and all the energy I'd exerted and work I'd done over the past few months suddenly seemed to catch up on me. Sad, exhausted and lacking in a huge amount of self confidence, I moved back in with my parents and spent five months sleeping, eating and having a bit of an emotional meltdown.

And then finally, as we were getting ready for church on Christmas morning, my mum said: 'Jacinta, we need to talk about this.' So we didn't go to church but we did have a very good talk, the conclusion of which being that I needed to move back to London asap.

Slightly over a month later I am here, living with two good friends, Lucy and Sofi, in Queen's Park. Although I'm quite sure this is the right place to be, as I feel more comfortable and driven in London than anywhere else I've ever been and I understand how life works here, not quite everything has fallen into place as I thought it might. I still see no definite path to achieving my professional goals (not least because I'm not entirely sure what my professional goals are) and I still wake up guiltily at midday wondering why I haven't been doing productive things since eight in the morning. But I have been to some wonderful parties; extensively discussed feminism, the pros and cons of religion and Call the Midwife over many a peppermint tea, latte and bottle of red wine; booked tap dancing classes and played at least five games of Settlers of Catan. So it's definitely an improvement!

What the next few months (and years) will bring I have no idea, but I am very excited to find out.